Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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I went to work today....

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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want more?

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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