Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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The Qur'an

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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