What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Alchohol.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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