Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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