A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops