what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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