What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Justin's life

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops