What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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