To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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