One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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