There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops