Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops