Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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Chris is hairy

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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13 =B you just learned something

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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