“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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