Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

FOX News: Fair and balanced

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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