Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

Why did the old man die? He was old.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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