A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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