Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

Why did the boy fall off the swing?

deez nuts

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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