So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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my penis

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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