Poop

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops