Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops