Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

Justin Bieber

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

Cheese

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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