Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops