Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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