a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops