Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Donald Trump

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops