Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

Go away still nothing to see

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...