Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

I'm homeless.

What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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