Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

what is red white and blue? the french flag

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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