Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

Andoni was here

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...