A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

thumb_up thumb_down -25

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops