Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

Knock Knock! F*ck off

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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