What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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