A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops