Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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