How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Urban ghettos

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Go away still nothing to see

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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