Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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