last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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