What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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