Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops