Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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