How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why? Why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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