Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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