what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops