wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Yellow People !!

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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