Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL Wasted your time didn't I -All the lol post are by me, LOL GUY.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -11

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops