What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops