a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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