Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

A blind man walks into a library.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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