What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Denard Robinson

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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