You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops