Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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