The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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