What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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