What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

why was kade sad? he shit himself

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...