roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops