What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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