Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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