How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Jesus Christ

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...