What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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