Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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