What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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