What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops