What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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