What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Your big dick.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

What's better than a stick? A stone

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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