How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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hi

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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