- Anti Joke

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

You are joking right?

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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