Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops