Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops