whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do I hate? people

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops