Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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AND

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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